ppl been askin me (especially those close too me but far in location) "yo what been up too? how's HEAVY goin? Are you droppin anything new?" here is sixty seconds of what I've been doin the last 2 & half lets say 3 months; double shifts Monday-Friday & sometimes Saturdays start at 6am end at 830 or 1030pm with retail then head to the weight room for an hour n half to 2hrs to keep my sanity as well as try an gain a little bit of muscle then travel 30mins home from the gym & arrive at the house at midnight or later... work eat workout nap repeat I was staying busy for the progress of HEAVY so I thought but I was losing direction like I had no time to myself let alone time wit others even worse I hadn't made anytime for God in this new "busy" schedule suddenly realizing the dead things around me validation in social media, physique, bank account was a huge one I started these jobs for a resource I'd never been fond of; money. Money seemed like the last piece to a dream missing it's reality potential in my case so I figured after the scare of almost being homeless I'd better get a job but why start there since the artistry didn't seem to be working at the time I'd figure I'd pick up 3 jobs stay busy in hopes to stay focus but I lost focus infact I became more distracted finding myself in between frustration & insanity idk if you can relate but on one hand I could see the results the potential that I have something worth fighting for my story which I'm telling thru HEAVY but at the same time had all the time in the world to think of the master plan to make this dream reality with no time to execute what I'd think about from 6am-10pm everyday that was the frustrating part in addition to the money wasn't solving my "problems" infact the pursuit of it was making me worse more stressed worried things I use to be so at ease about suddenly became very irritable subjects. The other hand was insanity I was working my butt of & for what minimum wage, someone else to control my precious time in terms of work schedules, lack of spending quality time with those I love most God family you all yet I was still going to these jobs hoping for something to change yet not doing anything to change myself faith without action is dead DEAD!!
An DEATH is exactly what woke me up... had a recent conversation with a friend whose 26 year old cousin just didn't wake up one day a couple weeks ago in completely good health reported DEAD by noon... WHAT?!? Like no sickness no stage 4 disease they didn't know about just their time was up? I started thinking could today be my last is this my final week on earth is it yours? See that's just it we don't know no one can guarantee us tomorrow not that job not your salary nor insurance not even your supervisor who desperately needs you to come in on your day off jus to do some stuff you hate doin because of how mundane it is (you know those task that cause us to reflect on our potential constantly repeating to ourselves I know I'm better than this... maybe it's just me) all that to say I know I wasn't a fan of this time period so tired & even worse lifeless like my soul was on empty an I was a zombie falling into the trap this society has set for those of us so quick to settle, stop preserving for that dream that is so AWAKE in us, those of us that lose hope or don't have the action steps ready to display what we truly believe in all I know is we weren't made for 9-5 solely or whatever the schedule maybe this week but even in what felt like darkness I was reminded my hope exists not cause what car I drive or all my bills are paid I'm debt free nah & that not my scenario (truth be told Salle MAE is after me student loans might be the death of me Salle Mae the only female I'd actually square up wit lol) but I had an existing hope because of unconditional love even when I felt unloveable He steps in an lets me know He's wit me that, indeed this kinda love is what gives life to a hectic boring or even overwhelming schedule it was a small moment of peace when I understood they as to process I had to undergo inorder to better understand what it is He is teaching me
for those of you joining this journey or story of mine for the 1st time my name is Josiah Sims I started a clothing line that tells the ongoing dynamic which is my life's story but it's far bigger than me see HEAVY is a truth that was gifted to me in an artistic language I speak very fluently I love creating drawing making people laugh movies music visuals Artistry in general is so life giving for me summer 2012 I had prayed God would give me a Outlet to be myself the whole me not just the parts people would applaud but all of me the parts fans might not support but those who truly rock wit you understand (& are in your corner to help you fight to be the best version of yourself) so HEAVY was the name given after a very short yet desperate talk wit God after I did my research to see that the name wasn't already in use I asked He would give me a way to make it personal you know authenticate it so when I spoke of it it would come from the heart & soul not just some mum-bo-jumbo get rich quick scheme. There shortly after (approx. 5mins) the statement that is still changing my life even now as I type Hope Exists Agape Validates You. Everytime I say this hear it or even see it I'm reminded first that I am the You in this statement, when you read it I hope you know the same is true
After 3 months (give or take) of grinding in the "workforce" I've been given a new hunger, focus, & attitude on what's the next step for me I'll let you in a little fact it involves RISK which I've made quite a bit of progress on in the last 48hrs stop by again soon (Saturday to be precise) as I fill you in on a little bit more of what Agape has been up too most recently & the lessons I'm currently learning (learning being the keyword lol) an what that means for me, could mean for you & the world around us til next time