February Fourteenth

 Today is Valentine's Day my grandpa Sims would of been 80 years old today, but he passed away when I was a sophomore in high school with diabetes. I woke up this morning to a text from my grandmother which expressed how she misses him but has peace knowing he's in a better place & that she'll see him again. My grandmother faithfully text us grandkids with a bible verse or two encouraging us letting us now she's praying on our behalf that the Lord would give us the desires of our hearts. One thing I forgot to mention earlier while writing this is that last night I was battling a case of the chills feeling sick this morning I woke up feeling really weak & unwilling to move or do anything then I read my Grandmothers text an was reminded to value everyday even the tougher ones because you never know if tomorrow will come. At my grandfathers funeral I didn't cry partially because I was under the impression real men don't cry an even today still wrestling with the lie that is but random days I'll find myself crying by myself wishing my grandpa was here. See he loved jazz & framing pictures I remember sitting in the garage just watching him work as the jazz would fill the room he was also the worlds greatest gift giver you know the ones who Christmas shop in January in hopes to nail the right gifts for the family. He spoke fluent French & was a man of his word when he said it he meant it these are things I admired about my grandpa especially know that I'm a full time artist I always imagine how fun it would be to work together have him frame my art pieces & we sell em together... I also tend to think of my grandpa Kemp my moms father he like my grandpa Sims was ex military I wish I could of asked about more war stories and how it was for them being black males in America my grandpa Kemp was also a hurdler I like him did hurdles in college it would of been nice to talk about that college competition & have him come to the PAC 12 Championships to see me compete, my grandpa kemp was a believer in work hard which in the moment felt like torture but also believed in play hard and the rewards he would grant us at the end of those Miami summers with him always made it worth it. Me being the little rebel I was I would act up on purpose sometimes just to hear my grandpa kemp cut up but deep down past his hard exterior  & raspy voice I knew he loved me & that I loved him not based on circumstances but because love is a choice though neither of my grandfathers were perfect by any stretch of the imagination I loved them so. So I share this with you to remind you love is a choice whether you're single, your significant other forgets today is Valentines Day or remembers don't let the distractions of dinner reservations & fancy chocolates cause to forget the reality that despite the circumstances & character flaws love is a choice that you have the free will to make despite if it's shown back to you. If your loved ones are gone remember to value the ones who are still here an look past the petty mistakes because life is too short. Today as I fight whatever this sickness is I have I also fight to adopt those characteristics my grandfathers showed me to be a man of my word, to work hard, to reward that hard work, to love my family, to continue fighting that those I love may live I love you Grandpa Kemp didn't tell you that enough when you were here & I miss you. Grandpa Sims Happy Birthday I here 80 is the new 20 in Heaven tell God & Grandpa Kemp what's up for me y'all enjoy yourselves an know you are deeply missed!!


Sincerley Your 1st Born Grandson,

Josiah Sims