It's very easy to adopt the idea that to love others is to do all you can to prevent hurting them at least controlling everything within your power not to be the reason for another's pain especially someone you care for deeply. Ironically only thing we control in the grand scheme of things is our lack of control so while 4 out 10 times that's ideally feasible there is another side to love that is difficult to swallow grasp or understand. The idea that true love allows hurt to happen to loved ones because as humans we truly have no control but rather a lack of control...so while it's easy to think we're the one calling the shots at the end of the day whether we called the shot is not the outcome rather the outcome lies in the hands of the All Powerful God He controls the the results of those shots & what He allows or doesn't allow is His choice in which no man can prevent from happening... I'm learning in my bad habit of people pleasing that I hate being the inconvenience I don't mind being inconvenienced but when it's vis versa it's one of those "shoot me now" feelings. But in my fear of letting others down which doesn't come from the Lord (2Timothy1:7) life is teaching me about Gods sovereignty that whatever He allows whether it SEEM good or bad is what He allows. At the end of the day He is the Only One Who Knows Us Fully Accepts Us Fully & Loves Us Unconditionally.
Quite honestly the outcome is always good if we view it the way God does (Romans8:28) To love is to allow hurt I look at my early childhood & this statement holds true when I disobeyed my parents my Pops had to whoop me (in the words of Denzel Washington break his foot off in my John Brown hind parts) because he loved me & desired the best for me an Sometimes a timeout just doesn't quite get the message across like a whoopin from a 5'11" 255lbs. Ex Collegiate Running Back does lol... chill chill it was far from abuse everyone sema down if you knew my Pops the way I do you'd know He hated having to whoop me but He loved me enough to be the inconvenience in those moments in hopes that I would see the truth for myself & that it wasn't hate but rather love...
Want another example? Follow me to God sacrificing His perfect & only Son allowing Him to be beaten mocked spit upon an killed for people who were his enemies not even good people I'm talking killers liars thieves selfish pride filled imperfect people!! Why?!? Cause at the end of it all He knew the outcome that those same unworthy imperfect humans would be restored as sons & daughters perfect an blameless in His kingdom fully glorifying Him who is worthy to be praised by being fully satisfied in His unconditional love... It's difficult to convey to those you've hurt how much you truly care an the interpretation of what you've done or didn't do is often misunderstood it's in those times when it's easy to become insecure & want to never allow your heart to love or care for others that we must know God is sovereign an what He has planned no man can stop the hurt was coming despite the circumstances because the process of God growing us to look more like Him is a struggle but know that it never fails rest in the fact that he chose to us you an even that "inconvenience" was for a reason don't doubt love for others to doubt love is to doubt God for God is love rather doubt those doubts fears & insecurities that would suggest not to love because those are lies which aren't from God who is fully love & fully truth to love sometimes allows hurt… please remember in spite of the hurt Hope Exists Agape Validates You!!