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WishYouKnew (Heartbreax)

If you had any idea just a slight glimpse or a sliver of how much I cared then, just then, you might be able to understand a third of the hurt I'm experiencing; but because you could care less you approach me so careless with small talk that's gasoline on a blue flame burning inside me... But this fire although you should feel the heat of its blazes you never will cause its locked inside of me & me is exactly who it consumes which is prolly why I feel as if I'm in a melting pot of my own emotions. This burning fire is melting all I know to be true... But if you only knew how much I cared you wouldn't so nonchalantly smile in my face you would approach me with awareness of the state of hurt I'm in you would think twice before doing or saying anything as a friend rather than an associate or salesman that is trying to convince me I'm cared for just because you told me so as if your empty words speak louder than your actions man pleasssse spare me the salesman routine I see right through it...

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How you ask? Because I do it myself to God on a regular bases even though I'm pissed about my current situation I can't help but step back & see myself carelessly hurting The Only One in my life whom loves me unconditionally so yeah believe me O wish you knew the pain the hurt I experience every time I see you but more so I wish I knew because maybe then I would love God with my actions rather than just empty words I would no longer say I wanna grow deeper in my faith then curse God to His face when He allows a storm into my life to make it happen I wouldn't ask for Him to speak to me then never open His word I wouldn't go to church, pray faithfully, spread the gospel, & make disciples with a false sense of entitlement that since I faithfully knocked out this check list of Christian items somehow God now owes me... I can't get it through my thick skull He GAVE ME EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING yet I continue to believe the lie He's holding out. Nahhh I'm the only one holding out as if there's something in creation better than the Creator Himself... If I only knew, what then would my life look like what would it feel like to experience life Abundantly right now right here on Earth rather then waiting on Heaven... Man Wish I Knew that fear isn't real maybe then Id walk in confidence with my Heavenly Father hand in hand not worried about the opinion of my peers. But thats just it this can be my reality & it can also be yours we just have to choose to believe we are who He made us to be an seek Him above all else...


H E A V Y.
"Hope Exists Agape Validates You"