Man it's been a minute since I've posted anything on social media in the last few months & quite honestly it's because I've been confused, angry, depressed, heart broken, & very frustrated with the season of suffering God currently has me in... Even as I write this post I struggle day to day with how to see God in all that I'm dealin with but the truth is I have no where else to go no one else to turn to so I cry out to God cause friends & family can only do so much ya know, the people u trust with certain information u can only approach a certain amount of times before you begin to feel like a burden, an life doesn't stop just cause things get hard. God is constantly telling me that "the role of this season of suffering isn't to destroy me but to develop me. His sole concern is about me looking more like Jesus He doesn't care anything about anything else & He will do it at any cost but He doesn't want it to cost me my joy He wants it to increase my joy because joy cannot be circumstantial it exceeds circumstance its a choice a mindset.." I say all this not for people to begin to throw me a pity party or try & make me feel better so when you see me please don't act or approach me differently cause the purpose of all this is that God may be glorified in me... its crazy but as much as I hate this season Im slowly learning to love it because its drawing me closer to God so if you pray for me don't pray that all this suffering will cease or that this season will pass rather pray that I will have faith that will endure an begin to become the authentic & genuine man of God He desires for me to be... I post this with a HEAVY heart cause I know there's many people that can relate with my broken heart, depression, suicidal thoughts so I post this in hopes to encourage you that God has a purpose for this season of your life & as hard as it is to press forward know that the good He has for you is far greater than anything u could imagine!!! Trust me I know there's those days were u hurt so bad & u feel as if your see thru cause no one seems to care you would much rather sleep it all off, smoke or drink it all away; but that still voice inside you is telling you theres a better way & your smart enough to realize that if you do any of those things cause your depressed you end up more depressed cause you do em it is totally normal to have those BLAHHH WACK days the question we gotta ask ourselves is will we move & pursue the joy that God gives? "Everything God wants to do He doesn't do it from the outside in but always always always from the inside out.." Picture all your current suffering right now & just imagine what in the world God has planned for you after this storm passes! ...i truly hope to encourage you as I encourage myself... Hope Exists, Agape Validates You.