Started off wrestling in bed as my body is nowhere near being use to getting up this early it's still dark out everything in me wants to roll over everything but this urgency of opportunity realizing today I'm as young as I'll ever be only growing older I gotta make these dreams reality an that's not bankin on hittin the lotto or going viral it's daily getting better in every area so I roll outta bed not cause i feel like it but because I kno if I don't then it's insanity in my head to continue hoping for somethin I'm putting no effort to grab the tools that got me here... my Bible & journal sit at a desk read thru Proverbs 10 & get smack with the simplicity of the truth that jumped of the page into my frontal lobe like one of those over dramatic squirrels that "attack" actors as they flip n flop over the reel.
Sat there in silence for a moment as I let the truth rotate understanding that we all get to a point in life where we gotta count the cost regardless what your pursuing the process will sit you down & make you count the cost, many, hundreds millions even will walk away when they understand what it is they're after but few will stay the course & those few are who we as humans idolize why not because they're superhuman although thas what the news would have you believe but it's cause they're just like you & me yet they persevered an we celebrate they're journey as a result I believe knowing deep down inside we are all faced with the same decision the question is will we see our pursuit to the end or walk away an regret it til tha buzzer blows
After realizing that what I'm after is next to impossible I finished writing in my journal prayed & threw my shoes on to go wit my little cousin to the gym he a freshman football player & im a former D1 student athlete whose walkin into tha gym for the 1st time in 2 months it feels good & nerve racking all at the same time & I love an hate it all at the sametime athletes understand the eagerness to get back to not just physically looking good but moreso that mental toughness you develop by acknowledging your feelings yet working beyond them consistently as I finished my intro to the gym my cousin went off to school I headed back to my aunt & uncles house with the same feeling about my dream to share my story & what life is teaching me in every season of life thru my artistry & fashion thru a brand named HEAVY. Meaning "Hope Exists, Agape Validates You." That's my own encouragement statement to myself in any or every season of my life an for the 1st time I know what a constant routine looks like as a entrepreneur an DAILY ACTION STEPS (which is pivotal) that I can go to sleep knowing I did all I can to get better today just like when I was a student athlete at WSU it's one thing to know what to do it's another to do it;
Showered read this Building small Business book for what felt like hours (was only 1) took notes that I'll review tonight began drawing new designs for HEAVY an my designs 9/10 start wit what I'm learnin which is a lot right now as we're headlining our 1st tour across college campuses on the west coast & TX but this design was more focused on today an thas that
"NOBODY GON PUT YOU ON!"
I say to myself "yeah it's wise to have mentors ppl to challenge all you do as well as encourage you & refresh you in your craft but for me to bank on somebody to just take my dream fund it then work on it harder than me for me is insane!! Like I mine as well live on social media in hopes to go viral or play the lotto wit ere dolla I get in hopes to make millions not saying that don't happen but it's usually neva followed up wit anything of substance to sustain the "blow up" I ain't looking for handouts hands up yes please cause this road will leave you on your face but if you make up in your mind Josiah that this is what we doin then this what we doin bruh..."
these the convos I have wit myself sometimes as a result of that being one of the many lessons I'm learnin I began drawing. For the first 20-25 mins had nothing was surfin old comics on google search engine for inspiration then it just started comin to me as I glanced over a few of my favorite artist's work & comic characters 3 hrs later I had my 1st rough draft sketch of a new design in months!!
Went outside to take a quick break was then stampeded by my little cousins who wanted to hangout wit me in the mini van & play app games on my phone guess this is their definition of quality time & I'll take it haha I love family especially mine for reasons like I can be myself around them & it's made up of individuals who other ppl wouldn't consider my family on paper but blood last names or birth certificates couldn't make us more family than what we are & I LUH DAT!! back to my cuzzos after 30 mins of gaming we headed back inside I had the intention of gettin back to my new written routine til my youngest cousin wanted to play which led to her riding on my shoulders up and down 2 flights of stairs then drawing Disney characters in moments I thought to myself what are you doin your ruining the schedule already then I realized that I was workin on my drawin skills was part of my schedule an doin it wit her was a bonus then I took a mental chill pill...
5pm snuck up on me called my business mentor & friend about the road life for the 1st time in 2 months outta fear of his schedule bein too busy etc etc but I'm learning we are just humans aka call the ppl you are thinkin about man regardless of schedule or social status! As I relayed my delay in making this call weeks earlier he laughed an told me he too had been thinkin of me funny how that works we spoke on business the conversations are always challenging yet I love them for that even tho I walk away feeling crazier than when I began because of the "reality" that this is hard work an it's not finna happen overnight back to that whole love hate relationship I explained I have about the gym was occurring during our conversation (sidebar: this is just another reason why I love/ hate workin out cause it's a direct parallel to life)
Right now it's 6:22pm the fam has already eaten without me I'll holla at yall later, as the journey continues I can assure you this is the artistry you've been waiting for... it's just gonna take more consecutive days; its HEAVY.