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How Powerful is Tha Mind?

Some would say how powerful are your feelings but how powerful tha mind that controls those feelings?

How powerful is the mind which controls my hands my feet the breaths I breathe tha choice to choose which chair I seat

How powerful is the mind divorce tha courts in which we file for child support custody wars all tha more decision after decision to own the floors of which humanity walks

How powerful is the mind that pushes me to do six sets of fifteen reps yet on the sixth set tries to tell me there's no more left

How powerful is the mind that lets me sleep in on my own work schedule but won't allow me to hit snooze for another's work schedule when I'm not at liberty to be my own boss

How powerful is the mind that I could come to know Christ as my personal Lord & Savior believe in prayer yet walk around depressed unsatisfied & feeling lost

How powerful is the mind to hold the weight of all this stress suppresses this mess im in & overthinkin without rest then suggest suicide is a feasible friend or worse a solution

How powerful is the mind see over time I've learned how I feel is attached to what I think about no wonder my parents were so quick to check everything brought into there house from music movies cards to whose these people you call ya friends how I feel is oxygen when it lines up with the truth of my reality casually it's easy to go off my feelings actually if "I don't feel it I won't do it" is commonly said throughout tha day yet how I feel can be real but that doesn't make it true what I'm saying is I can feel like I'm dying while eating  flavorless vegetables but the reality is they're not killing me or I can feel like I don't need to exercise but the reality is the way I eat & as much as I eat I need to workout at times I may not feel like getting up & going to work but my reality is I have goals and dreams I desire to see come to fruition so I should wake up and work sometimes I don't feel like being the bigger person an apologizing even if I may not of caused the drama yet I should step up an do so cause of the reality I've been called to by God my Father the mind is a powerful thing so beware what it takes the idle mind is a dangerous place... it's HEAVY.

(you prolly read this all in your head so I ask you again how powerful is tha mind?)

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Day 001

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Started off wrestling in bed as my body is nowhere near being use to getting up this early it's still dark out everything in me wants to roll over everything but this urgency of opportunity realizing today I'm as young as I'll ever be only growing older I gotta make these dreams reality an that's not bankin on hittin the lotto or going viral it's daily getting better in every area so I roll outta bed not cause i feel like it but because I kno if I don't then it's insanity in my head to continue hoping for somethin I'm putting no effort to grab the tools that got me here... my Bible & journal sit at a desk read thru Proverbs 10 & get smack with the simplicity of the truth that jumped of the page into my frontal lobe like one of those over dramatic squirrels that "attack" actors as they flip n flop over the reel.

Sat there in silence for a moment as I let the truth rotate understanding that we all get to a point in life where we gotta count the cost regardless what your pursuing the process will sit you down & make you count the cost, many, hundreds millions even will walk away when they understand what it is they're after but few will stay the course & those few are who we as humans idolize why not because they're superhuman although thas what the news would have you believe but it's cause they're just like you & me yet they persevered an we celebrate they're journey as a result I believe knowing deep down inside we are all faced with the same decision the question is will we see our pursuit to the end or walk away an regret it til tha buzzer blows

After realizing that what I'm after is next to impossible I finished writing in my journal prayed & threw my shoes on to go wit my little cousin to the gym he a freshman football player & im a former D1 student athlete whose walkin into tha gym for the 1st time in 2 months it feels good & nerve racking all at the same time & I love an hate it all at the sametime athletes understand the eagerness to get back to not just physically looking good but moreso that mental toughness you develop by acknowledging your feelings yet working beyond them consistently as I finished my intro to the gym my cousin went off to school I headed back to my aunt & uncles house with the same feeling about my dream to share my story & what life is teaching me in every season of life thru my artistry & fashion thru a brand named HEAVY. Meaning "Hope Exists, Agape Validates You." That's my own encouragement statement to myself in any or every season of my life an for the 1st time I know what a constant routine looks like as a entrepreneur an DAILY ACTION STEPS (which is pivotal) that I can go to sleep knowing I did all I can to get better today just like when I was a student athlete at WSU it's one thing to know what to do it's another to do it;

Showered read this Building small Business book for what felt like hours (was only 1) took notes that I'll review tonight began drawing new designs for HEAVY an my designs 9/10 start wit what I'm learnin which is a lot right now as we're headlining our 1st tour across college campuses on the west coast & TX but this design was more focused on today an thas that

"NOBODY GON PUT YOU ON!"

I say to myself "yeah it's wise to have mentors ppl to challenge all you do as well as encourage you & refresh you in your craft but for me to bank on somebody to just take my dream fund it then work on it harder than me for me is insane!! Like I mine as well live on social media in hopes to go viral or play the lotto wit ere dolla I get in hopes to make millions not saying that don't happen but it's usually neva followed up wit anything of substance to sustain the "blow up" I ain't looking for handouts hands up yes please cause this road will leave you on your face but if you make up in your mind Josiah that this is what we doin then this what we doin bruh..."

these the convos I have wit myself sometimes as a result of that being one of the many lessons I'm learnin I began drawing. For the first 20-25 mins had nothing was surfin old comics on google search engine for inspiration then it just started comin to me as I glanced over a few of my favorite artist's work & comic characters 3 hrs later I had my 1st rough draft sketch of a new design in months!!

Went outside to take a quick break was then stampeded by my little cousins who wanted to hangout wit me in the mini van & play app games on my phone guess this is their definition of quality time & I'll take it haha I love family especially mine for reasons like I can be myself around them & it's made up of individuals who other ppl wouldn't consider my family on paper but blood last names or birth certificates couldn't make us more family than what we are & I LUH DAT!! back to my cuzzos after 30 mins of gaming we headed back inside I had the intention of gettin back to my new written routine til my youngest cousin wanted to play which led to her riding on my shoulders up and down 2 flights of stairs then drawing Disney characters in moments I thought to myself what are you doin your ruining the schedule already then I realized that I was workin on my drawin skills was part of my schedule an doin it wit her was a bonus then I took a mental chill pill...

5pm snuck up on me called my business mentor & friend about the road life for the 1st time in 2 months outta fear of his schedule bein too busy etc etc but I'm learning we are just humans aka call the ppl you are thinkin about man regardless of schedule or social status! As I relayed my delay in making this call weeks earlier he laughed an told me he too had been thinkin of me funny how that works we spoke on business the conversations are always challenging yet I love them for that even tho I walk away feeling crazier than when I began because of the "reality" that this is hard work an it's not finna happen overnight back to that whole love hate relationship I explained I have about the gym was occurring during our conversation (sidebar: this is just another reason why I love/ hate workin out cause it's a direct parallel to life)

Right now it's 6:22pm the fam has already eaten without me I'll holla at yall later, as the journey continues I can assure you this is the artistry you've been waiting for... it's just gonna take more consecutive days; its HEAVY.

One LUH

Stone Age Poetry #tbt

I'm from under a rock

Uhaul

UPack

UFall

Ustress

UHurt

ULove

UWorkFedex

Mi fam was movin alot

Federal Way

Not born but raised

i can careless

a runAway

nobody care

From which I came

The Things you thank

when You live

from under a rock

It's deep

I peeped

Observed

An seen

We wanna be

Perceived n praised

For what we aren't

but

As for me

I'm from under a rock

I'm so

ISO

I sold

My soles

In hopes

To hold

Respect

Acceptance

Preference

Privilege

Instead I'm gettin

Rejected

Questioned

Hit wit

Racial jokes

words theyPoke

theyPrick

theyCut

theyShift the mind

Perspective is

I must survive

Live from under this Rock

parents is pot stickers

Others rollin pot

Little girl was usin white chalk

Police arrived

spot

Cop Killers

Drug dealers

Cops kill her

The innocent little girl

moms tellin em stop

Shot after shot

After shot after shot

How to get away w/ murder

1st hand as we all watch

Live on video

A second hand

would have a hard time readin the clock my

Mind is tickin tho

minutes seconds hours finished

pictures

what I'm paintin

when I'm sayin

I'm from under a rock

Can you hear me

I'm from under a ROCK!!!

the pressure on the top

is it oppression

Nah the pressure is God

Depression is not

Uncommon to

But common too

The voiceless

those from under the rock

don't care if you served the nation

Doctors lose they patience

all the while prescribing patients

in comparison we pay cents

to what hospitals be makin

Why they ask for ethnicity on these

job applications

Questions I ask live from under a rock

Why me scared?

Why me care?

What others think?

If they blink stink & link they problems to their fears?

Just like me?

Why me fear?

Why so secure?

Why me here?

Are You near?

Where You there?

Is there fares?

Is it a fair?

Hidden fees?

Can I believe?

The love affair?

Does hope exists?

Where Agape lives?

How me validate this parkin?

Am I late?

To love or hate?

Despite it all?

Can I still be myself?

Live from under The Rock?

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Mr. Observerson's Class

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Sat back an observed as I normally do

Was on the couch when I observed the normally news

Thought to myself

"am I one to conform to the conformity crew?

Or will I go against the grain & shift lies to conform to tha truth?"

Ironic how people question these 15 second videos with thousands of views & discredit countless accounts of witness who claim the black boy didn't do what they'd assumed

*still lost his life tho he complied before they had chosen to shoot*

back to the comfort of your unoppressed perspective on a hill with a marvelous view

While we kill hate & steal from the lack of good food that's

Food for thought in fact it's Kool if you question these clips as you search for the truth

Yet if you don't question the news that has hours to tell selected narratives & millions of views

then please ask yourself are you even on the same scoreboard when it comes to equality's point of view?

Just a thought as I sat back an observed as I normally do

A child asked Mr Observerson who is under normally's rule?

Ooo Is it the intelligent, the insane, the kind, or the true?

Another child asked Is it me, the authorities, is it grandma, or is it you?

His friend chimed in is it pastors, is it teachers, is it peers, is it fools? 

Is it human beings as a whole since that time we fell for the fruit?

Mr Observerson how can one be truer than true it seems 12 years of education is enslavement to stay under normallys rule

in my years of education they didn't teach me how to improve

they merely taught me too survive & it seems as even that is a fluke

I'm in more debt than when I started with no knowledge to prove

that I'm worthy of approval for good credit but what about my credits from school?

Those don't count for nothin?

How come not one of them taught me how to fill out a W2,

Educate us on property taxes

or how to invest into myself instead of these corporations full of money with no desire to help me or you

they just wanna continue too

The..the-y they wanna continue ta

OOOOUUU

hold up!!!

wait a minute!

are they the founders & owners of this "normallys rule" now that I think about I remember all of my 9-5 interviews

they be like

"What's your 5 year plan"

"What do you hope to accomplish in 2?"

"Are you willing to sacrifice your dreams and ambitions so we can continue to do

what we do

which is blind you to your original vision take your heart an ambition than use

what we can & when we're finished tell you we're headed in different direction as some sorta excuse

to fire you when the new college graduate can more quickly do what you do?"

"Oh whoops our mistake seems you didn't meet all the rules that qualify you for retirement  guess you'll have to figure that out too" "But hey your 60 now maybe you can start using those tools that you had when you were 20 to create something new

good luck

an make sure to leave a positive comment on yelp in your exit review

We'd hate to withhold your last check cause you failed to do what we asked you

Who put you in charge normally how long have you blinded us to

this reality that we never ever more than once will be 23 22

34

35

46

52

O whoops you caught me but now you've gotta a family & grandkids on the way you can't afford to stop what you do

yeah yeah yeah you had dreams they were really well thought out an unscrewed from normalitys thinking you could've changed the score with all those sincere points of view

but you didn't so sorry you know what just sit back on your favorite couch

O look at what just came on Sports News

there you go that's it

"But wait I'm not thru... what are you doin turn that tv off"

At-at-at take it easy youve had a long day you need to rest

there you go put your feet up eat some comforting food

& just continue to observe as you normally do in minutes you'll forget all about how to execute

besides, you know as well as me, this is the way of the normally rule.

Sat Here Day Three

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I'ma fool

full of lies

full of truth

knowin there's no line in the sand for bendin broken rules

pedalin the metal for acceptance of some other fools

ironic that's exactly who we place on pedestals

hmmm

Ima fool for lettin her good looks be the fuel

my reasonin to pursue knowin she was neva really true

insecure

thinkin social media made her kool Ima fool to think I could change her heart's score thru my points of views

full off food they force fed us in the schools as they focus on the money wit education as the tool

how we suppose to learn

how we suppose to turn

from the systems that leave us burned

how can we teach ourselves Gods Love can't be earned

see

Am I fool

for thinkin the latter could be true

cause I work for everything else what's one more addition to the pool

of tha weights I'm tryna carry

by myself

"You need help" asks God

"Nah im Kool"

I reply

like a little kid stuck up in a little lie

when he says he can do it on his own outta pride

what a fool

oh wait a second that kid isnt you... Josiah

you worry an you stress as if that could add a cube...it

to your solution but that's the problem you're a fool

just admit that you're fool

an maybe you can begin to fill this void that's not been full

off any of these temporarily temporary pointless shallow vain pursuits

the money

the social status

the respect of other fools who can't control whether they see today or tomorrow sounds like the making of a....

nvm

see wisdom is admitting you don't know as much as you think you do i mean even if you did how much of that do you really execute 

& to not look down upon but recognize that we have all played the fool 

God can use even You (as in US) to do what He said He'd do

He's the original Creator of Heavy Artistry takes the old & makes it new; 

 

"Hope Exists, Agape Validates You." #OneLoveWeHEAVY

Son of a B....roken Place

  "is it not crazy to think that this kid will only be seen as cute in photos cause now that he's full grown cute has gone out the window, media calls him a threat based upon how he looks their narrative couldn't be more clearer I call him a friend; he's a honest man, this man in the mirror..."   

"is it not crazy to think that this kid will only be seen as cute in photos cause now that he's full grown cute has gone out the window, media calls him a threat based upon how he looks their narrative couldn't be more clearer I call him a friend; he's a honest man, this man in the mirror..."  

Dear Daddy,

my brothers & sister aren't the same color as me but that's by your design right? the world needs you as desperately as I need you & I need you even more desperately than the world because all though I'm not of the world I'm in this world that says blue lives matter that all live matters yet black lives don't? Weren't we all made in your image? Don't you command us to make disciples of all tribes & nations? They fight for the rights of animals at least the ones they care about I mean you can lose your professional career get sent to jail for fighting dogs yet they provide supplies to go hunting these days those that look like me Dad are treated less justly then the dogs killed because at least they're killers were sent to jail yet those that kill us seem to get a jail free card with paid leave... It hurts Dad the last positive media of us on tv was Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Cosby Show, Different World, Smart Guy, Proud Family... Why don't my "lighter" sisters & brothers let me hurt or even express? Why must they act like they know it all with the same information that I have yet anytime I make a statement I'm not seeing the "full picture" that's never given cause the news is slanted? Why don't they grieve when I do why can't we take a step in each other's shoes? Since when has opinion become facts & facts opinions? They tell me don't assume you don't have all the info but I never said I did in fact I understand where they're coming from because I place my self in their shoes to better understand there perspective yet I'm forced to only learn part of history from the books they use in schools they so quickly brush over the land that was stolen from natives or foundations laid by slaves ironically the flag they find so much pride in has never given us the full story yet I'm the one who gets called out for assuming? stating opinions not facts? Ahhhh sometimes I just wanna yell sock a punching bag go to the gym release the emotions of frustration confusion anger pain but even after all that I feel I haven't helped move us as humans move in the right direction... I'm inadequate to do so without you I need you daddy desperately... Help me... Please idk what to do as your son I can't even imagine what those who don't know you are experiencing its dark down here daddy but I know you have me here for a reason help me be the light you've called me too... I'm tired of hearing we need to pray more cause that seems to suggest to do less in this community Ima apart of but maybe we can pray more & do that which we are asking to get done is that so wrong? Thanks for listening Daddy I love you show me how to love me & love all my neighbors as I love myself

Sincerely,

A letter from a little broken heart 

 

Just Decide

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Make up yo mind

Don't be passive

just decide  

speak truth to yourself

I know it sounds like common sense

Chances are if your offended by this statement

U might need to take a hint

or a hike to reflect on what is true

Not in a rude way

But a real one

Now before you hop the fence

& apprehend me for negative language

Lemme share with you how it is I came to this conclusion of statements

Counseling

Yeah I said it counseling see about 2 years ago I had a convo wit my moms which sounds very normal but this is why I was alarmed moms called crying apologizing for some long

Time ago actions that took place which was odd not that she was apologizing but the fact that she cried

as her son I wanted to make sure her eyes would dry

she then shared the reasons an the why

from that convo I began to reflect upon some lies

I had believed

It dawned on me

something I had learned my whole life

Love your neighbor as yourself... (excuse me as I exercise what they taught us in detention, I Josiah Sims should love my neighbor...)

as myself

as yourself

as ourselves 

love your neighbor as yourself

See at that time I was working on staff with Resonate Church at WSU

On staff you work with people they say 9-5 but lets be real it's people so it's more like 9-9 lol all that to say I realized a lot of the people that came to me for advice I wasn't loving them the best I could solely because I didn't know what it meant to love myself so I took a step back got into counseling an began to uproot some of the lies I've believed since childhood some as early as 1st grade thru counseling I began to do more than just admit my fears but figure out the exact scenarios that took place to reinforce that fear in my life & address myself when I felt some type of way cause someone brushed my insecurities a certain way...

It may sound crazy but if you're working with people or even just to know yourself better I highly recommend counseling for the simple fact that healed people heal people

In my last counseling session I was challenged to speak truth to myself

see I wrestle with a lot of self doubts constantly second guessing everything I do from a post on social media, drawing, design, blog, selling clothes, even what words come out of my mouth

I've wrestled my whole life due to specific events that occurred but I've gotten to a point where I've decided no more will that be an excuse to hold myself back see I scream "Hope Exists, Agape Validates You" from my soul because 10 times outta 10 I'm talking to myself tryna encourage me the me that has struggled for so long the question can I truly be myself? What would my life look like if I was myself without second guessing it? Is freedom for me to stop worrying about what others think say or even do towards me understanding I have a choice despite it all & I can choose to love because I've been chosen to be loved unconditionally?

I'm learning to love myself

If it sounds selfish I think it's suppose to

truth be told

you can't love others til you began to love yourself as a whole... (think about it)

 

One Love,

"Hope Exists, Agape Validates You."

Sat Here Day Two

  "Even while I'm seated I stand for what I believe like Rosa Parks..." -Josiah Sims  

"Even while I'm seated I stand for what I believe like Rosa Parks..." -Josiah Sims 

Do you stand for something?

I mean really stand for something?

A gun is pulled on you would you keep standing?

Would you be bluffin?

Money enters the picture do you stay true?

Will you David Ruffin?

Break up your group of beliefs for a fly honey & a beach...

Vacation

Contemplatin leavin the family of values you started with for tha side piece

Of lies in tha 2 seater benzo with a spare key

To her hotel thinkin "oh well" it just happens to be inconvenient this is really what money made outta me

Spare change

Left despare

When you can't change the weather nor the rubber

spare tire change in the rain but the rain is really tears from your lover

On the side of Seen St & Unseen Blvd

You pull the car

over thinkin you will have time to see tamarr (tomorrow)

But that's not promised

Your not sonic

how ironic

That which you switched up for is so hooked on phonics

Sprint drills across countries

Cant help you in the long run

Ask yourself, this pursuit

Are you stuck in the wrong one?

Will your original family of pure intentions take you back?

Is it your responsibility to make up for all the years of distance & slack?

Are you liable when it's all said & done to know how to answer that?

You have a choice to make that's all that matters

what's that facts?

Matter of fact the matter of fact is made up of freedom

agape

community &

truth that this here are things I'm working on

art

love

people

character

self

See the art of loving people

takes character in self

Could my Artistry be artifact?

Dreams made reality?

If perseverance is the course how many hurdles in my lane on the track?

How many teammates off track?

Are you tracking with the game I'm kickin to arch backs

Keep shoulders tight

Remember to breathe

& plant feet

Grip the bar evenly

bench press

Off the chest

all this weight from ones past tests

Pass this metaphor is an open door of opportunity choose

Lies or truth equals retreat or make moves?

Blaze a trail wit snail patience & the drive of three nails

let the smell of yo sacrifices be a sweet not stale

see what I'm saying you can't quit I'm tryna get you to see that you can't fail

we may fall but the only way to fail is stay there

So Keep Going!

Lets Go!!

Get Up Please!

make like an underground emcee keep flowing for the love of Christ

Don't stop trying just keep knowing

The truth is that we can't stop time

Regardless of how many watches we own

Who cares about your age?!?

We're forever young after this life is eternity

so in comparison to that why worry bout the number gage?

Unless you're unsure where you'll spend eternity that's reason to be afraid...

No worries my friend that Antidote it trickles on down this page

(So don't you open a new window. Don't you scroll pass the Antidote [Travis Scott Voice])

why worry bout possessions when they can't proceed beyond the grave?

That which you stand for does it stand for you or make you it's slave in hopes to promote its self, is it worthy of that kinda praise?

My hope exists because Agape validated & continues to Validate Agape He needs no permission & He has no grave forever He lives so with great passion I say

"I'll Die For What I Believe!"

cause Agape Assured me

& now I know death for me is just anotha phase thru which I'll pass for surely...

 

One Love

"Hope Exists, Agape Validates You."

My Dawg... (2008-2017)

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Yesterday

I lost my dawg

not a human

but my dawg

As in when we use to go on long walks he'd walk on his (not feet) paws dawg when it was time to eat he'd sit right beside u not make a peep just using his puppy eyes to see if you'd give him a little piece dawg

Oh my dawg

Was not a human but my dawg

Nonetheless

When I was stressed he would help me stress less dawg

Got my heartbroken a few times he would sit wit me & just listen dawg

never knew exactly how he knew I was depressed but when I'd lay on the floor he'd lay next to me in hopes I'd scratch his chest

dawg

Hot BREATHE!!!

Ooo man my dawg had some hot breathe

that dawg could defrost frozen groceries wit tha heat behind his teeth but thas my dawg

y'all

He was a grown dawg in dawg years yet still stepped on everyone's feet with his paws

Like a big ol puppy dawg

Too excited

Yeah he'd get too excited when i called on FaceTime & he'd hear my voice upon the phone Dawg

I use to feel bad leaving him at the house alone by himself so I'd take him on a walk before I left if I ever felt

That he needed it

There were those time he was disobedient

Although frustration rose he'd still find ways to be the median in the household

Perfect balance between a dawg an a comedian

This dude use to crack us up with his random acts especially when he knew that we were treating him

to something special he was my dawg

you will be missed I knew you'd have your time but who knew you'd have to clock out so quick

It was just yesterday we brought u to the house that we rent

I mean we lost yo cousin Bo bouta month ago before all of this

I know that was hard on my cousins (when you lose a dawg it's more about what the represent) they might of felt just like me & that its

All surreal If cancer was a real person I know a waiting list of ppl who would do em somethin righteous to make em squeal

But today I gotta text saying you weren't doin to hot

Nah

not my dawg

The same dawg use to run wit me around the block

Same dawg use to bark to flex on the other dawgs walkin near our spot

Same dawg who stepped on Nae Naes foot purposefully that one time to hush her up by the sliding glass door

Same dawg who gave the craziest looks when someone would fart had the whole fam laughing on the floor

Same dawg who we drove a few hours to go an choose

Same dawg who was there for the fam when the fam was feelin blue

Same dawg who chewed thru my white SnapBack from Wazzu

Same dawg that loved me & boy did I love you

You my dawg not a human but my dawg

Blessing could of been your name but we named you Gabriel the kindest Rotti in the game

I ever knew

A good friend of mine so I felt the least I could do is take some time

Reflecting

to write to you

a small list of great memories

Remember the

Times when I'd chase you round the couch til we both were outta wind & whenever you wanted to be petted you'd sit on my toes an smack my leg wit your paw haha you my dawg

You looked out for our moms while I was away at college

When Nae Nae was gone

Pops would go to work

it was you protectin moms when she hurt her back you had a way of huggin her wit no arms

Ironic

just yo presence was a present an It's unfortunate that you're gone

Nonetheless

you my dawg not a human but my dawg

forever that will be

Big Gabe,

Gabe E. Gabe,

Gabriel Tha 3rd,

Swoll G

you will be greatly missed my dawg

rest easy

an believe me although I won't see you again in person I know I'll see you on tha TV

when they decided to release your movie on the big screen

All Dogs Go To Heaven 3 & half

ill have my bucket of kettle corn waiting for a good laugh

Much Love, 

Yo Older Brotha

(PS couldn't allow the kid in me to lose the dream of seeing his dog featured in a classic animation)

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Where You Been At?

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ppl been askin me (especially those close too me but far in location) "yo what been up too? how's HEAVY goin? Are you droppin anything new?" here is sixty seconds of what I've been doin the last 2 & half lets say 3 months; double shifts Monday-Friday & sometimes Saturdays start at 6am end at 830 or 1030pm with retail then head to the weight room for an hour n half to 2hrs to keep my sanity as well as try an gain a little bit of muscle then travel 30mins home from the gym & arrive at the house at midnight or later... work eat workout nap repeat I was staying busy for the progress of HEAVY so I thought but I was losing direction like I had no time to myself let alone time wit others even worse I hadn't made anytime for God in this new "busy" schedule suddenly realizing the dead things around me validation in social media, physique, bank account was a huge one I started these jobs for a resource I'd never been fond of; money. Money seemed like the last piece to a dream missing it's reality potential in my case so I figured after the scare of almost being homeless I'd better get a job but why start there since the artistry didn't seem to be working at the time I'd figure I'd pick up 3 jobs stay busy in hopes to stay focus but I lost focus infact I became more distracted finding myself in between frustration & insanity idk if you can relate but on one hand I could see the results the potential that I have something worth fighting for my story which I'm telling thru HEAVY but at the same time had all the time in the world to think of the master plan to make this dream reality with no time to execute what I'd think about from 6am-10pm everyday that was the frustrating part in addition to the money wasn't solving my "problems" infact the pursuit of it was making me worse more stressed worried things I use to be so at ease about suddenly became very irritable subjects. The other hand was insanity I was working my butt of & for what minimum wage, someone else to control my precious time in terms of work schedules, lack of spending quality time with those I love most God family you all yet I was still going to these jobs hoping for something to change yet not doing anything to change myself faith without action is dead DEAD!!

 

An DEATH is exactly what woke me up... had a recent conversation with a friend whose 26 year old cousin just didn't wake up one day a couple weeks ago in completely good health reported DEAD by noon... WHAT?!? Like no sickness no stage 4 disease they didn't know about just their time was up? I started thinking could today be my last is this my final week on earth is it yours? See that's just it we don't know no one can guarantee us tomorrow not that job not your salary nor insurance not even your supervisor who desperately needs you to come in on your day off jus to do some stuff you hate doin because of how mundane it is (you know those task that cause us to reflect on our potential constantly repeating to ourselves I know I'm better than this... maybe it's just me) all that to say I know I wasn't a fan of this time period so tired & even worse lifeless like my soul was on empty an I was a zombie falling into the trap this society has set for those of us so quick to settle, stop preserving for that dream that is so AWAKE in us, those of us that lose hope or don't have the action steps ready to display what we truly believe in all I know is we weren't made for 9-5 solely or whatever the schedule maybe this week but even in what felt like darkness I was reminded my hope exists not cause what car I drive or all my bills are paid I'm debt free nah & that not my scenario (truth be told Salle MAE is after me student loans might be the death of me Salle Mae the only female I'd actually square up wit lol) but I had an existing hope because of unconditional love even when I felt unloveable He steps in an lets me know He's wit me that, indeed this kinda love is what gives life to a hectic boring or even overwhelming schedule it was a small moment of peace when I understood they as to process I had to undergo inorder to better understand what it is He is teaching me

 

for those of you joining this journey or story of mine for the 1st time my name is Josiah Sims I started a clothing line that tells the ongoing dynamic which is my life's story but it's far bigger than me see HEAVY is a truth that was gifted to me in an artistic language I speak very fluently I love creating drawing making people laugh movies music visuals Artistry in general is so life giving for me summer 2012 I had prayed God would give me a Outlet to be myself the whole me not just the parts people would applaud but all of me the parts fans might not support but those who truly rock wit you understand (& are in your corner to help you fight to be the best version of yourself) so HEAVY was the name given after a very short yet desperate talk wit God after I did my research to see that the name wasn't already in use I asked He would give me a way to make it personal you know authenticate it so when I spoke of it it would come from the heart & soul not just some mum-bo-jumbo get rich quick scheme. There shortly after (approx. 5mins) the statement that is still changing my life even now as I type Hope Exists Agape Validates You. Everytime I say this hear it or even see it I'm reminded first that I am the You in this statement, when you read it I hope you know the same is true

 

After 3 months (give or take) of grinding in the "workforce" I've been given a new hunger, focus, & attitude on what's the next step for me I'll let you in a little fact it involves RISK which I've made quite a bit of progress on in the last 48hrs stop by again soon (Saturday to be precise) as I fill you in on a little bit more of what Agape has been up too most recently & the lessons I'm currently learning (learning being the keyword lol) an what that means for me, could mean for you & the world around us til next time

 

One Love!

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